Couples Therapy

“Lack of communication can drive a spike between two people wider than any physical distance.”
– Mark W Boyer –

“Can my relationship be saved?” or, “Can you help us decide if we should stay together?”  These are questions I’m often asked and there is no one good response for everyone.  The most accurate thing I can say is something like this: “Couples work is hard and there are no guarantees, but you are wise to invest the time and you will likely learn something very important about yourself and each other.”

Factors to Success

Couples must be open to the process and show commitment to one another.  They must be willing to look honestly at themselves in order to understand their role in the relationship.  It is important that they demonstrate authenticity.  Knowing the traits and habits that make their partner tick has a positive effect on change.  Couples work isn’t meant for one partner to unload anger, resentment and other damaging behaviors.  It’s about unlocking solutions based on love and dedication.  Research shows that most couples contemplate counseling for six years before actually taking the steps to begin.  Think about this statistic: six years during which you could have been fostering your relationship!

Benefits of Couples Therapy

During and after sessions, couples express higher levels of relationship satisfaction and overall happiness.  Many report learning resources to make more effective decisions about their relationship.  Attempting to solve relationship problems yourself takes more time and is burdened by subjectivity and intensified emotions.  Couples work provides “neutral ground” to help move through these tough issues.  A motivated couple can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective while learning how to recognize and resolve conflicts.  Couples can build trust and improve communication that may have eroded over time.  Couples work can be helpful by establishing an open-ended dialogue and learning conflict resolution skills.

Personal Growth Begets Relational Growth

Along with the ubiquitous interruptions of social media and the breakneck pace of our lives, the efforts necessary to cultivate a relationship are often overlooked.  Relationships are inherently comprised of periods of acrimony.  This is normal.  But without sustained attention and maintenance, emotional closeness wanes over time.  But it’s possible to offset this distancing.  Whether you struggle to make time for one another, find it difficult to communicate effectively, or are dealing with something a little heavier, couples work provides a unique opportunity to shut out distractions and show up for one another.

Increase Empathy

Increasing empathy toward one another is one of the biggest drivers of change.  It can lead to more positive expressive practices between partners.  Therapy helps couples improve empathic communication and avoid the pitfalls around topics that lead to conflict.  The emphasis is not just on communicating, but communicating effectively.  Communication enhancement helps couples say what they need to say in healthy, kind, and thoughtful ways.  Every relationship has its strengths and weaknesses.  While some topics in couples therapy may be problem-oriented, effective therapy also celebrates and enhances strengths.  Therapy helps couples identify the unique aspects of their relationship and provides them with an opportunity to explore and promote the better parts of one another.

Final Thoughts on Relationships

Relationships require work and are bound to face challenges.  Simple, everyday stressors can lead to a strained relationship.  However, most relationship problems are manageable as long as each partner is willing to address the issue at hand and participate in a solution.



1638 Eagle View Drive
Homer, AK 99603

tim@kachemakcounseling.com
(907) 602-2578

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